Fun With Wax 101

By Master Bryan

Introduction

Wax play is one of the most accessible starting points for people interested in S/m.

It can be as simple and romantic as taking a candle from your dinner and dribbling the wax into your friend's hand. Or you can have a couple of hundred dollars worth of gadgetry and mix your waxes to get just the right melting point. This workshop will be about basics and oriented toward helping Newbie’s get started.

Pre-Scene Chat

Also known as pre-scene negotiation, this is essential for any S/m activity. The negotiations are where you decide who is doing what to whom and how while you are playing, as well as limits (what is not allowed to happen). It is also where you discuss degree of sexual contact, if your play will lead to a longer term relationship or is it just a one night thing, health issues (both physical and mental), family planning and safer sex. A safe word which will stop all play in case of an emergency should always be established as a essential part of the pre-scene chat.

About Wax

Wax ranges from liquid at room temperature to wax that melts at a couple of hundred degrees F. The stickiness or malleability of waxes also varies from blisters that are sticky like honey at room temperature, through to hard carving waxes which are brittle and melt at high temperatures. For our games we want to use pure paraffin which melts at around 150 F. The focus of this workshop will be on using paraffin candles.

The ideal candle for wax play is a pure white paraffin candle. There are a lot of sources of pure paraffin available. Whenever possible stock up on good candles from the same source as they will give you consistent results. Avoid using coloured candles, bees wax candles, birthday candles, or any unusual candles as they will likely have different melting temperatures which are often too hot for good wax play.

Church supply stores are a time honored source of pure paraffin candles. And of course if the candles are good enough for a god, they are probably good enough for your more Bacchanalian rituals as well. A modern source of pure paraffin candles is the buck store. They can be very affordable at the buck store. My personal preference are Jewish Sabbath candles. You can occasionally find them in grocery stores in larger packages at very affordable prices.

Candles also come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Thin candles such as dinner tapers or Sabbath candles are good for dripping individual drips of wax. Wider candles such as pillar and votive candles form nice little puddles of wax which can be used to give a much more intense effect than individual drops.

There are also a variety of therapeutic wax baths which give you very accurate temperature control over large volumes of wax which is designed specifically for use on humans. These units are the “Cadillac” of wax play and can be pretty pricey.

Avoid the use of a blow torch to melt large blocks of paraffin onto the bottom. This is a dangerous practice and definitely not for beginners.

Safety

Whenever you play with fire make sure there is a fire extinguisher nearby and that you know how to use it. Wax will burn if overheated with something like a blow torch. Even a simple candle can accidentally ignite flammable objects such as curtains. If you do “wax play” correctly there should not be any burns to either the submissive or the room around them. However, sometimes accidents happen so be sure there is burn spray and polysporin available. If any serious burns happen make sure the injured parties get prompt medical attention.

There are a few practical safety keys to a pleasant wax experience. First and foremost the top should test each type of wax on themselves before using it on the bottom. This can be simplified by only using only a few types of wax such as tapers and pillar candles. Using candles from the same batches will help assure consistent sensations and handling.

Avoid waxing the face and head as these are obviously risky areas to have near open flames. Also, getting wax out of your hair can be very uncomfortable.

Similarly, if you will be waxing other hairy body parts, be ready for a big ouch when the wax comes off.

Preparing the Space

Wax play works best with the top standing and the bottom laying on the ground. It is also fairly messy as wax splatters everywhere. Lay a large non-porous drop sheet on the ground. Avoid porous drop cloths as the wax will soak through and on to the floor below. Make sure there is plenty of room for the wax to splatter. A pillow under the drop cloth is not necessary, but it is nice for the bottom.

Remove any obvious fire hazards from the immediate play space. Familiarize yourself with the fire extinguisher and its use.

Technique

The essence of wax play is to control the temperature of the molten wax by starting high and working your way down. Always remember to drip a little bit of each new type onto yourself first so you have an idea of approximately how hot that particular batch of candles burns. With a taper hold the candle high and tip it onto its side so that the wax drips onto the submissive. You can control the rate of wax flow by the angle at which you hold the candle. The more the candle points at the ground, the faster the wax will flow.

Now try lowering the candle a foot or so and drip a little more wax on bottom/submissive/slave. Check in with the bottom/submissive/slave to see how it feels at that height. Repeat the process until you find the right height for that bottom and candle. Then you can begin to explore how various parts of their body react to the wax. Pretty much any area is fair game except for the head, body piercings (getting the wax out of a piercing the next day sucks), any hair you would like to leave intact, and clothing. Nothing will ruin a set of expensive lingerie quite like soaking it in wax.

As cooled wax builds up on your favourite body parts it will block the heat from the fresh wax. Remove build ups if they interfere. You can either pick them off with your hands or scrape them off with something like a knife, credit card, paint scraper, or anything thin, flat, and firm. Be careful not to hurt your bottom/submissive/slave with the scraper.

One can get a bigger effect by dripping a larger volume of wax. Wider candles such as pillar and votive candles form small pools of wax instead of individual drops. That pool carries more heat with it so be careful, but the principal is the same. Start high and work your way down to a comfortable height to apply the wax from. One of the nice things about the wider candles is that you can either dribble individual drops or splash the whole pool on at once. The wider candles take a little while to replenish their pools of wax. Use a few of them alternately so that you have plenty of molten wax while spent candles recharge.

Medical wax baths allow access to literally pounds of molten wax with very precise temperature control. Despite the temperature control always test a little bit on yourself first. I just stick my finger into the bath to get an idea what the temperature is. Therapeutic baths allow you so much wax that you can apply it with a ladle. As with any other wax play, start high with a few drops and watch to see what the reaction is. Once you have confirmed that the temperature and height are good you can start ladling the wax on in big splashes. Working with a ladle makes wax build up quite quickly. Expect to be peeling a lot of cooled wax off as you go. It is also really messy as molten wax splashes everywhere.

Clean Up and After Care

When you are done there will be wax everywhere. There will be wax all over, and occasionally inside, the bottom. Wax will also be all over your drop cloth. If you are lucky the wax will not be spilled onto the floor or splattered on furniture.

Wax play is nice in that aftercare and cleaning up the submissive often work out to be the same thing. Scrape or pick the wax off the bottom. It will take a while. This is also a good time to discuss how the scene went, how much you appreciate their submission, what stuff to try next time and what things to avoid in the future. Check carefully for burns, nicks, or scrapes and apply any first aid you can. If there is any serious damage see that they get proper medical attention.

Cleaning up your play space afterwards is a whole other ball of wax. Rather than try to clean the drop sheets I just shake them out and reuse them. Wax on hard surfaces can be scraped off. For wax on porous surfaces like carpeting, if the surface can take some heat put a paper towel on it and then a laundry iron on top of the paper towel. The heat from the iron will melt the wax and draw it up into the paper towel.

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